So i need to present an original poem tomorrow for school %26amp; i am feeling too lazy to make up a new one so i decided i'd just read an old one that kind of sucks. However, I don't want to completely embarrass myself in front of everyone especially since the poem is kind of emo-y and in real life i'm generally a pretty happy person. SO yeah. Please give me your feed back on whether I should say my poem of if i should write a new one or if i should make some changes to the one i have now:
How to Relax Efficiently:
It was one of those days.
One of those horrible, twisted, cruel days where
nothing goes right. The omnipotent powers
must be looking down on me, laughing bitterly at my
anguish. At my mistakes; at what i should have done
right, but have failed at miserably. That boy,
that test, those girls - what I should have done, what
I didn't do right. The final bell rings - the harsh clang
resonating in my ears as I rush out of this chalk boarded
prison towards my car. Home is the single coherent
thought my mind has formed since the bell has rung. The
Only word I can focus on as I precariously speed an easy
10, 15, now 25 miles over the %26quot;Maximum Speed: 25 MPH%26quot; until
Finally. I am finally home. Collapsing on my bed, I grab
My headphones from my desk, and slide them over my tired
throbbing head until they are entirely encompassing my aching ears
suddenly, all is quiet - a thick, heavy silence has blanketed
the entire universe with the exception of the steady thumping of my
own heart. I press shuffle on my Ipod, spin the sound wheel until
it has reached maximum volume and let the mellifluous sounds
crash over me like ocean waves crashing over a sandy shore
and all is right with the world once more.How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?It's good, except I think you need to change %26quot;Maximum speed%26quot; to %26quot;Speed limit%26quot;How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?Eh.How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?Whoa this is really good!How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?I wouldn't read that infront of the whole class..its a bit deep..unless you go to one of those artsy schools or something..How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?I like it. The only thing I might change is the %26quot;maximum speed: 25 MPH%26quot;. Perhaps just say the maximum speed limit? I feel its just a little bit of a mouth full. If you like it though and you don't stumble on it then go for it. I like it, and no you don't have to be worried about emo, you're just talking about a bad day.How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?Very good!How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?It needs a bit more rhythm to it. It would be good story, but if you want a poem try to have some alliteration and rhymes in it. Good luck!How Horrible is My Poem (pleaseplease give me your opinion)?ok
