Here is my essay:
Tell me if its Ivy League quality and how well its written.
Thank you in advance for your help
Growing up in Jamaica, toys were a rare commodity. Money was scarce in my family, so putting food on the table dominated our financial concerns, not buying toys for the kids. If I were lucky, I檇 find a yo-yo with a dirty, worn string or a pocket car always with on of its tires broken. My friends, many of whom shared my predicament, and I had to invent creative ways to fulfill our innate childish desires攖o have unlimited amounts of fun. And so my friends and I found an endless amount of things to enjoy ourselves, such as poorly sculpting old pieces of wood to make cricket backs; using the various Apple, Mango and Geniep攁 fruit the size of a grape with a green outer casing and orange insides攖rees in my neighborhood as both our afternoon nourishment and as our jungle gyms; and riding on old, wooden carts down steep perilous streets. Our best inventions, however, were our box-trucks.
A box-truck is a simple, yet eclectic conglomeration of parts: four fruit juice boxes, at least eight bottle caps, four stems from coconut tree leaves, and about 8 inches of thread. To obtain the bottle caps and fruit juice boxes, my friends and I would travel down to the gully down the street, a place inundated with trash. We檇 get the thread from our respective homes and the stems from a coconut tree. After we had collected all our supplies, we檇 sit together, sharing nail to pierce holes into the bottle caps that would become the tires and scissors to cut the boxes into certain shapes.
The finished product resembled an 18-wheeler; unlike it though, our box-trucks were more vibrant and much feebler. A tire fell off because off if too big of a hole was pierced in it; the sticks that held the tires on the truck broke at the slightest turbulence; and the whole vehicle crumbled if stepped on. In our boyish jubilance, we檇 often destroy these trucks in days.
Childhood poverty and lack of opportunity taught me to appreciate the resources available to me today; my box-truck building experiences taught me how to use them.
When I entered the 6th grade, I was reading at a 4th grade level, I was placed in the lowest possible classes in my middle school because of it. Determined to change that, I worked diligently to become a better reader, keeping word journals to improve my vocabulary and studying grammar books. By the 10th grade, I was reading books by Cornel West and Stephen King.
All this wouldn檛 have been possible if I weren檛 surrounded by the resources, which I fully utilized. I often maxed out my school and public library cards and asked my teachers whenever I couldn檛 understand something. Soon I will be the first in my immediate family graduate high school and go to college. At college, I hope to get a higher education as well as to dance, to learn how to play an instrument, to travel the world and to acquire the skills necessary to give poor kids like myself in Jamaica and throughout the world opportunities to better themselves. I know that I accomplish these goals at the University I attend because I plan to exhaust the resources that it will provide me to do so.How is my college admissions essay?wow, that's a great story! i think the topic you chose is perfect for a college essay - it shows your inquisitive nature, motivation, and ability to make the best of any situation to better yourself.
in like the 3rd sentence, change %26quot;on%26quot; to %26quot;one%26quot; and in sentence 5 i would take out the %26quot;and so%26quot;
great essay :)How is my college admissions essay?It's an excellent essay -- interesting and well-written. You have a few grammatical errors, so proofread it carefully.How is my college admissions essay?Your writing skills are phenominal. This is one of the best college essays anyone has asked me to read. I guarantee you a spot at any Ivy Leauge school you wish as long as your grades and test scores are as spectacular as this essay. Excellent job!!!How is my college admissions essay?Hello Dear, do your self a favor now that you got your answers and delete this question. College admissions check essays for plagiarism regularly. you don't your essay to come up positive for plagiarism because you had it online. Good luck to you.
