my mother is living with a man who is a drunk and a pot head. She is 49 he is 38. She is much older than he. He steals her rent money, beats her up, he chocked her and quits all his jobs and uninates on her. She cried to me, please help me I had you and your sisters i dropped out of high school I have a 2ed grade education and I am just a maid making 7 dollars an hour working 40 hours a week. I can't make it on my own please help. So I don't have much myself being a student and all. He went to jail twice for abusing her. So I bought my mom a car and a 2500 dollar trailer. She said if I did this for her she wouldn't need him anynore the lot rent was only 250 a month. She makes 800 a month. Anyways I spend 7 grand on her just for her to move him back in after i did all that for her when I was suppose to get her away from him like she promised me. I felt used and hurt. She promised me that she wasn't intentionally using me but I feel like she did. Anyways she moved him in a week later then he went back to jail for strangeling her. While he was in jail she asked me for 90 dollars and a new hot water tank and promised me it was over. When he got out of jail he moved back in again after she promised me. Now she got a hot water tank out of me. Then she found out he cheated on her and still let him sleep with her and come over. i feel so hurt and used. She does seem to be up and down with her emotions and she does seem to be some what bipolar but I am not sure you know. I feel like I don't want to talk to her anymore. My and my husband are going threw our own problems with the economy being down and all. Meanwhile , she doesn't call and ask me how i am doing she calles everyday with her drama and her asking me for things. I feel that she is rude, uncaring for my feelings and a completer screw bag and a loser. I don't want to talk to her anymore. She is my mother but she treats me horriblly what would you do in this situation and how would you handle this. I can't talk to her because she will tell me that she will kill herself and don't worry i wont talk to you anymore and she over reacts and doesn't care she boo whooos and it's all about her and she will just care about herself so it's not worth talking to her she doesn't care and wont change I have tired to get her help and on meds and she refuses. Please help me.. I am so hurtWhy is she doing this to me please help?Report the abuse of your mother to the police.
Then deal with the rest.Why is she doing this to me please help?First of all, PLEASE use paragraphs, it makes reading so much easier.
Okay, now on to your question. While your mom may have been acting like this all your life, you didn't indicate so and that sounds like she is acting this way because of the guy she is living with. This happened with a friend when she liked a guy, but he didn't like her back. She was constantly in a bad mood, always came with her petty drama that I had given the same answer to over and over, and if I so much as hinted that I get tired of hearing this night after night, she said that she wouldn't come to me with her problems again. Your mom sounds like the same case, but to a much greater extent, and you need to sit her down and get her mad at him. It sounds like that that is the only way you are going to get her away from him, and he really does need to get away from her or he will kill her.
Since there is physical abuse going on, you might want to get the police involved. However, only do so if they can promise that they'll get her away and get her help. From the sounds (looks?) of your question, she is a wreck emotionally when he isn't there, and a wreck physically when he is. If he's gone for good I bet she'll hit rock bottom and try to do something drastic, so she needs counseling, to be put in the hospital, or have someone with her 24/7.
Hope I helped. Good luck.Why is she doing this to me please help?The only thing you can do is pray for your Mother. Looks like you have done all you can. If she makes 800 a month and rent is 250 that leaves 550 for food and Elec and Utilities. I don't know what else she has to spend her check on. But that is not your problem. I know you love your Mom and none of us wants our Moms to suffer but It looks like she needs a wake up call. I think It is time to let her know you love her but you can't put up with the way she is doing. Sometimes we just have to tell others what we feel and what we do and do not like. I know if it was my Mom I sure wouldn't like her having a boyfriend living with her and if he was hurting her I would have the cops on him so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. You just keep on loveing your Mom and praying for her and tell her you are praying that she gits her life in order. Bless you and I will be praying for you.
Why is she doing this to me please help?Wow, you have so much on your plate. It sounds to me like you have it figured out. I'm sure you love your Mom and that won't change. But you need to do what's best for YOU and YOUR family. You can't always take care of your mom...and you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themself. Trust me. Don't waste another second of your time trying to get her to change or whatever. Sounds like she has some serious issues to deal with and sometimes you have to save yourself or they'll just pull you down with them. Like you said, you and your hubby have your own issues to deal with. I think that it's awesome that you've helped her as much as you have, but you prob. need to wash your hands clean of the situation. It doesn't sound healthy for you. Your mom is going to have to get honest with herself before she can straighten up and be honest with you and get her act together. Do you think that your mom might be on drugs? Some of my very close family members have been on drugs before and they have acted this way. And your mom may be biploar..but I don't believe that's the only thing she's suffering from. But you need to focus on you and your hubby and try your best not to worry too much about her. I know that it's hard..but I don't know that there's anything that you can say/do to make her %26quot;wake up%26quot;. I hope things get better for you and I will def. pray for you and your family.Why is she doing this to me please help? I think nick m answered your question well and he is right , but on the other hand
I have afamily member who is going through the same thing sort of, doesnt hit her just smashes the house up ( which costs her money)- ive been were you are hearing it all- all the time. ' this is it now his gone for good, im never havin him back, I mean it this time blah blah blah'
Truth is he will aslway go back to her and she always has him back - Always. I talk to my mum often but dont get involved any more, when she starts going on about it i change the subject, she soon gets the hint- TRUTH IS SOME PEOPLE YOU CANT HELP, THEY NEED TO HELP THEMSELVES
i knwo you love your mum but its affecting you, your partner and whoever else, in my eyes you have helped all you can, and done more than enough, suggest to her what nick m said about police, protection and counciling- but in your honest opion do you think it will work or will she just have him back again- I think i know you know the answer to that, If all that dont work, change your relationship woth your mother around, make her become the mum again and you the daughter in stead of the other way round, know it sounds nasty but in anice way let them be, you cant do nothing about it im afraid.
Sorry your going throu this and have lost all that money, must be bard with xmas aroubd the corner, concentrate on you. wish u the best.
Why is she doing this to me please help?I know you love your mother and would do anything for her, this is good, but remember this is not about you it is about your mom, she is hurting for some reason or another, maybe she was mistreated earlier in life and has not gotten over or delt with her pain yet cause her pain is dealing with her. She is a wounded woman inside, remember we treat ourselves the way we feel we deserve to be treated, I understand your pain also, willing to do anything for your mother and just wanting what is best for her, At some point you are going to have to say mom you know i will do anything for you but until you are ready to stop living like a dead person and allowing this man the apportunity to kill you one day. I don't know what more i can do for you. I am living life, i don't participate in death because i am not dead yet. This man is slowly killing you and you are letting him take his anger out on you. He came into your life with all this baggage and he is dumping it all on you robbing you of life because he is dead. This all is waying to heavy on me because i love you, so until you are ready to start living life i can not support your life style with him. Pray to Jesus for yourself and your mom, even that man pray maybe you could read about the pardicol son in the bible
This man had to sons one wanted his inheritance now because he wanted to go off into the world, he spend all he had, hong out with some of the worse kind of people, even had to eat with the animal's, one day he came to his senses and remembered his father was rich and his servants ate better then he was. His father did not stop him, he let him go, but when he came home his father was so glad they celebrated life for him because when he left he was just like a dead man, but when he came home he found life again, his father did not hold this mistake against his son because he learned from his mistake. It was time for rejoicing because his son that was once lost was now found. keep this in mind when it comes to your mother she is like a lost child right now but one day she will come to her senses then she will have found herself, just embrace her with love, when it happens, just pray and have faith.
