my mother is living with a man who is a drunk and a pot head. She is 49 he is 38. She is much older than he. He steals her rent money, beats her up, he chocked her and quits all his jobs and uninates on her. She cried to me, please help me I had you and your sisters i dropped out of high school I have a 2ed grade education and I am just a maid making 7 dollars an hour working 40 hours a week. I can't make it on my own please help. So I don't have much myself being a student and all. He went to jail twice for abusing her.
So I bought my mom a car and a 2500 dollar trailer. She said if I did this for her she wouldn't need him anynore the lot rent was only 250 a month. She makes 800 a month. Anyways I spend 7 grand on her just for her to move him back in after i did all that for her when I was suppose to get her away from him like she promised me. I felt used and hurt. She promised me that she wasn't intentionally using me but I feel like she did. Anyways she moved him in a week later then he went back to jail for strangeling her. While he was in jail she asked me for 90 dollars and a new hot water tank and promised me it was over. When he got out of jail he moved back in again after she promised me. Now she got a hot water tank out of me. Then she found out he cheated on her and still let him sleep with her and come over. i feel so hurt and used. She does seem to be up and down with her emotions and she does seem to be some what bipolar but I am not sure you know. I feel like I don't want to talk to her anymore. My and my husband are going threw our own problems with the economy being down and all. Meanwhile , she doesn't call and ask me how i am doing she calles everyday with her drama and her asking me for things. I feel that she is rude, uncaring for my feelings and a completer screw bag and a loser. I don't want to talk to her anymore. She is my mother but she treats me horriblly what would you do in this situation and how would you handle this. I can't talk to her because she will tell me that she will kill herself and don't worry i wont talk to you anymore and she over reacts and doesn't care she boo whooos and it's all about her and she will just care about herself so it's not worth talking to her she doesn't care and wont change I have tired to get her help and on meds and she refuses. Please help me.. I am so hurt
25 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
4 minutes ago
DO YOU THINK SHE IS USING ME???
DO YOU FEEL SHE HAS LIED TO WHOLE TIME TO GET ME TO BUY HER A TRAILER AND HOT WATER TANK
3 minutes ago
I FEEL USED AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY LIFE IT'S ALWAYS CAN YOU DO THIS AND GIVE ME THIS EVERDAY
Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?%26quot;He steals her rent money, beats her up, he chocked her and quits all his jobs and uninates on her. %26quot;
You can go to jail for that. RING THE POLICE AND TELL THEM!!!Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?ask yourself if she had always been like that%26gt; if not, her emotions were consumed by this violent relationship and she is lost, desparate. You need to help be getting her to do counselling, and if you recon he is psychotic, have to contact police and mental unit. Peoople smoking weed very often end up with psychosis, and if you think that is the case, he may end up killing her in psychotic state, she needs to get out of that relationship asap, but think about yourself as well, you may need help and councelling as well. If you tried and cant do anything, do not blame yourself. The gauy doesnt deserve your mum. It hurts when you tried and she wont do anything, but think how many women get consumed by relationships like that and dont get out for years. She needs a new purpose in her life, other than man, she needs independence and go back to her old self, but we are not always able to open the eyes of our closest relatives, she needs to wake up and admit she is used and abused, and want to get help.
stay strongWhy? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?She is using you, and will continue to do so, if you let her....quit doing things for her....Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?call the police and tell them what's happening
if she asks you for anything else just ignore her, it may seem harsh but it's all you can do if she doesn't want her life to get betterWhy? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?Sophie,
I just want to say that I agree totally with what Lulu said. You seem a very well adjusted Christian young lady.
But one thing I would like to add. You say you are %26quot;just a maid%26quot;.
No matter what you do in life you are never %26quot;just a%26quot; anything. Be proud, being a maid is no shame, all though lowly paid you are still gainfully employed.
I know, (I am a maid also), that there is a social stigma attached to being employed as a maid, but it is usually the same people whose floors we wash and toilets we clean that look down their noses at us. The same people who don't,won't or can't clean up for themselves.
So next time someone asks what you do, say proudly %26quot;I am a Maid%26quot;
Blessings,
Kim.Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?Sweetie, your mother is self-centered and addicted to the drama this man brings into her life. Unless and until she gets professional help, she will continue exactly as she has. If he gets locked up, she will find someone pretty much the same as he.
Your mother made some bad choices when she was younger and now has to pay the price. Part of that price is that she is uneducated and can only make 7 dollars an hour. That was her doing, not yours.
Do NOT let her make you feel guilty. She could have been more sensible, stayed in school, and practiced birth control. She didn't.
There's no reason that you should have to bail her out time and again.
She could also have chosen to either live alone or find a man who would be happy to work and treat her well. She didn't. That's her doing, not yours. She's allowed her man to choke her and urinate on her and yet welcomes him back. That's her choice, so don't let her whine to you any longer.
She has used you. I guess it doesn't matter if she did it on purpose or not, she still used you. Don't let her do it again.
You are right, too. She does not want help as she is having all her needs met. He gives her the drama, you give her what she needs. Stop now.
You don't have to tell your mother anything. If you don't have caller ID, get it. Answer her call if you feel up to it. If you don't feel up to it, don't answer.
Learn these words: %26quot;I wish I could help you out, but I can't.%26quot; And also, %26quot;Apparently you like being treated this way or you wouldn't keep letting him come back.%26quot; And the best: %26quot;No. Sorry.%26quot;
You owe her no explanations for not wanting to partcipate in her self-destructive behavior. You don't even have to talk to her.
Listen, she is never going to be the kind of mother you need and would love to have. It is not going to happen. Give up that dream. She is what she is and seems to be satisfied with that. You must accept that.
Go on with your life and put yourself and your husband first. Let your mother live the life she has made for herself without anymore help from you. Remember that she is self-centered, and that won't change.
God bless you. You sound like a sweet and caring young lady, and I'd be happy to have you as a daughter. Take care of yourself.
You are a child of God.
Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?Yes, she is using you. Yes, she has lied to you. Yes, she will continue until you start saying %26quot;I'm sorry Mom, I can't help you until you respect yourself and are willing to make good decisions.%26quot;
Unfortunately, you are placed in the position of being the adult, and she is in the position of self loathing; abused and desperately looking for love; yet not willing to respect herself, let alone anyone else...including you.
Your best bet is to be strong, mature, compassionate and of all things, be an adult. Stop enabling bad behavior, reward good behavior. Encourage her to respect herself and always be open to celebrating the day(s) that she makes progress. After all, you love her right? Good luck, be strong, love always :-)Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?It may sound harsh even cruel, but you simply have got to walk away and never look back.Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?You are not responsible for your mother. You tried to help her and it didn't work, through no fault or shortcoming of your own. Now you must stay away from her and not allow any contact with her or her livein guy. Your mother is trying to control you by making you feel guilty. Don't let her! Your responsibility is now to yourself and your husband.
Some day, your mother may come to her senses. Keep hoping that will happen but don't let her ruin your life in the meantime.Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?no one can take advantage of you without you letting them. You know that she is taking advantage of you. Seriously, you need to cut her off, she has no reason to stop.
It's gonna be tough, stick to it, GOOD LUCK!!!!! Why? Please help me i don%26#039;t know what to do?Sorry, but it sounds like she is using you. You have to live your own life, she is a grown woman, she HAS to take care of herself. You need to worry about you and no one else. Don't take her calls, and for godsake do not give her anymore money! Take care.
