The need for money to pay the bills, college, books, food, and medicine is one major barrier. My mother is ill with diabetes and psoriasis. Every day she comes home exhausted and lives day by day. No retirement or savings because all that is left in her pay check goes for food, bills, and medicine. I pray for her daily because I can feel her struggle. Raising three children on your own is a difficult task especially when you are a teenager and barely graduated with a GED. My mother has made bad decisions in her life but she considers her children to be a blessing. She is my role model and a strong independent woman who has taught me so much. She has taught me carpentry from drilling a nail into the wall to putting up sheetrock to make a wall. She has directed me on how to change oil and tires on the car so I would never have to pay and waste money for someone to do the labor. She has learned from experience and I am glad that I have learned so many things from her because I am a strong independent woman because of her. I am dedicated to getting a successful job so that I wouldn檛 have to be in the position she is in. I want to wake up and be happy with my job. I want a job that provides economic stability. I love my mother for making me who I am today so supporting and caring for her are my primary objectives.
Being the first person to attend and graduate from college would be a tremendous achievement for both my family and I. Even as a child, I have always felt the need to help others whether it檚 holding the door open for someone or volunteering in a nursing home and hospital. For that reason, I donate numerous hours of my time helping the elderly and volunteering at the hospital. I have completed over 148 community service hours, many of which have not be recorded. I also stay after class and help my teachers file their course work. I enjoy assisting those in need. Helping others gives me a sense of accomplishment and makes me feel good about myself.
Furthermore, I am a proud supporter of the World Wildlife Fund. I believe it is necessary to contribute to the preservation of the wildlife population. We must conserve and protect wildlife from extinction so that our children and grandchildren would be able to see and experience the benefits of life and its surrounding features. I have a passion for animals as you can see. I believe everyone should help try to sustain life and give back to the community.
Currently attending Palm Beach Community College in Lake Worth, I remain with a steady 3.68 GPA. I am proud of myself but I strive to do better. I study consistently when I have the time. In addition, I recently got accepted to Honors College with a teacher檚 recommendation. My major is in Biology and I plan to transfer to the University of Florida. Veterinary College in the University of Florida is very competitive so achieving A檚 in my academics are essential but discovering a way to pay for college is an even greater challenge. Receiving this scholarship will relieve financial strain on me and my mother.Veterinary medicine is my goal and my dream. I believe I have the ability to make that dream happen because I have a drive.Can someone proofread my scholarship essay?1) because all that is left in her pay check (change to: because all of her pay check)
2) I am dedicated to getting a successful job so that I wouldn檛 have to be in the position she is in (change to: so that I will never be in the position she is)
3) strong independent woman (add comma between strong and independent)
4) also maybe use the word career rather than the word job..sounds more long term and like more of a commitment.
5) Being the first person to attend and graduate from college (take out the word from...should just read...attend and graduate college)
6) many of which have not be recorded( change the word be to been)
7) so that our children and grandchildren would be able to see and experience (remove the word that and change would to will...so our children and grandchildren will be able to see and experience...)
8) I have a passion for animals as you can see(add a comma between animals, as)
9) I remain with a steady 3.68 GPA. (change to: I consistently have held a 3.68 GPA)
10) I study consistently when I have the time (change to: I spend any free time studying)
11) I recently got accepted to Honors College with a teacher's recommendation (change to: I was recently accepted to Honors College per a teacher's recommendation...)Can someone proofread my scholarship essay?great:D
