before i say anything let me state that i do realize that i was wrong and disrespectful to my parents... so please don%26#039;t give me the 3rd degree.
let%26#039;s back up all the way to this morning. this morning i found out that my school schedule was going to get totally ruined at semester and cause me a great amount of stress because of the classes i%26#039;m going to take. on top of this, i have alot of stressful things going on this week that are causing me to lose sleep, and putting huge amounts of stress on me. but wait, it gets better! i also have sever PMS this month that was causing me to have unexplainable depression before all of this bad news. i feel achy, tired, emotional, irritable, and i have really bad brain fog.
so i get home and my mother gripes about all of her problems but expects me not to share any of mine. i was about to take a shower when i asked her if she could please not use my bathroom i have asked her not to do several times before and she snaps at me saying, %26quot;it%26#039;s not your house, and i%26#039;ll do whatever i want!%26quot; not to mention dragging my dad into the mix. now i don%26#039;t think i deserved that, especially because it%26#039;s not too much to ask when hers is right down the hall.
so later i was talking to her about my schedule change and i had to repeat myself 4 times when she couldn%26#039;t hear me (i was sitting on her bed and she was her bathroom messing with her hair) i got so irritated with everything that happened so i said to myself, %26quot;gosh, your so deaf%26quot;. she claims that she has ringing in her ears as the reason but it%26#039;s funny that she didn%26#039;t have any problem hearing that, but she started yelling at me telling me that i need to just %26quot;deal with it%26quot;. i started crying, and she threatened to go tell my dad (which annoys me really bad because it%26#039;s like she can%26#039;t deal with it herself). so i said %26quot;well, what%26#039;s he going to do about it?%26quot; which i realize was not a smart thing to say. then she told my dad that i said that and told him to deal with me because i was being %26quot;unruly%26quot; and she %26quot;couldn%26#039;t handle me anymore%26quot; and that %26quot;at 18 she doesn%26#039;t have to deal with me anymore.%26quot; so i%26#039;m worried that once i turn 18 she might just kick me out. so then my dad storms into the room all red in the face and threatens to %26quot;beat me with his belt.%26quot; then she tells him about my schedule and he tells me to just %26quot;suck it up,%26quot; and %26quot;deal with it.%26quot; so i start crying more and then she yells out saying %26quot;oh i know what%26#039;s wrong with you! it%26#039;s PMS!%26quot; and that mortified me because she says it in front of my dad every time(i%26#039;ve asked her not to do it before). so i start crying more and she makes fun of me by saying %26quot;just go cry, big baby.%26quot;
so that%26#039;s what just happened i pretty much feel hopeless. but do keep in mind that this is fairly mild to some of the stuff that i have fought about with them. i still love my parents and there are good days, bad days, and really bad days and i just don%26#039;t know if i can deal with it anymore but i don%26#039;t know how to support myself. they won%26#039;t let me get a job, they won%26#039;t let me drive (i%26#039;ll be 18 next month), and there%26#039;s really no family i can stay with. so i%26#039;m really in need of suggestions.
i know this is alot of info but i really need help and i really need to vent. please help!How can i support myself at 18 when i have no job, no car, etc?Yeah, I got folks like that too. I was 20 and my dad was still telling me that I%26#039;m not too old to spank.
I%26#039;m gonna tell you the truth: In most states, a $10/hour job will more than pay for a new life. You might have a crappy apartment in the beginning, but it will be yours.
You%26#039;re living at home at the moment, but I%26#039;m sure you have friends. If so, do any of them have their own apartments? Can you move in with one of them? Do you have any savings in the bank? With that, you can plan on moving into your own place with a friend or roommate while you%26#039;re looking for a job.
Apartments want to see three times the rent in salary. That means that a $10/hour job will give you $1600 a month, and that means you can afford a $500/month apartment. If you move in with a friend, you can afford more than that, which means you can live in a nicer apartment. Lots of apartments have some, or even all, the utilities included in the rent.
About five years ago, I was supporting my entire family -- husband and three children -- on a salary of $1600, and doing quite nicely. (My husband got laid off and it took some time to find a new job.) The point is, for those few months, it was tight, but all the bills got paid and food got bought, etc., etc. So if I can do it on $1600 a month with four other people to worry about, you can definitely do it on $1600/month with just you.
You%26#039;re 17 now, but in a little while you%26#039;ll be 18. Your mother says, %26quot;I don%26#039;t have to deal with you when you%26#039;re 18.%26quot; That%26#039;s just fine. That%26#039;s de facto permission to have a job and an apartment lined up for the day you turn 18.
If you%26#039;re in college, can you get a job on campus? Maybe in the cafeteria? Maybe in some FEMALE teacher%26#039;s office doing clerical stuff? You could do this during the hours that you%26#039;re at school, such as you have classes as 9.00, 10.00, 3.00 and 4.00 o%26#039;clock. That means between 11:00 and 2.30 you have time to put towards some little job that will pay you a little bit on money to save so that you don%26#039;t have to ask someone for help. Or perhaps you could tutor, with %26quot;money under the table%26quot; that your folks don%26#039;t know about. (Of course, don%26#039;t use the phrase %26quot;under the table%26quot; because that means tax free, and that%26#039;s not what you%26#039;re talking about.
The bathroom issue is not about it%26#039;s her house, it%26#039;s an issue of respect. Your mother doesn%26#039;t have a whole lot of respect for you, sorry to say, and that%26#039;s what the bathroom issue is all about, and also the tattling like she%26#039;s six, and also screaming about PMS. Knowing that it humiliates you, she does it anyway -- TO humiliate you. If she respected you, she wouldn%26#039;t use your bathroom, talk to you like you%26#039;re six, tattle on you like she%26#039;s six, KNOWING that dad will come in and kick your a$$. That was my mother%26#039;s specialty too.
The point is, honey, you have a lot of options. You just need some clear thinking moments to see what those options are. Once you%26#039;re living in your own apartment, you can drive where you want, go where you want, work where you want, and leave your parents out of that decision. Remember, she already told you that she doesn%26#039;t have to deal with you when you%26#039;re 18, so do the proverbial preemptive strike and just move out.
You%26#039;re 18 next month, that means you%26#039;ve got a month to plan. And you don%26#039;t have to tell them about it, or ask their permission. It%26#039;s not disrespectful to plan your adult life. In fact, you can make the argument that, You guys raised me to be an adult, I%26#039;m making adult decisions, it%26#039;s the highest form of respect, showing you that you did a good job. Of course that might piss them off, but they can%26#039;t argue it out loud, or it would be as if they are admitting that none of that is true, which would be to say they raised you to remain in three-cornered pants (diapers) forever.
This is not about loving or not loving your parents. Sometimes parents try to keep their kids as little and young as they can to be dependent on them so you will always need them. It%26#039;s a way of exerting control, and they probably don%26#039;t even realize it.
Start planning your 18th birthday by finding a roomy. Lots of apartment finding services have lists of people looking for a roomy.
Good luck, Honey. I remember what it was like to be in that situation, and it was tough. It was tough to move out, tough to move on, tough to fight the fight, but it was totally worth it.How can i support myself at 18 when i have no job, no car, etc?Give your life to Jesus.
If you don%26#039;t have Him, you don%26#039;t have anything.
Check out Josh McDowell%26#039;s web site for more information.How can i support myself at 18 when i have no job, no car, etc?Alright, first of all you are making way too much of all this. You were upset, your mom was upset and your dad was just reacted. Don%26#039;t worry about being kicked out when you turn 18.
You need to sit down with your mom when things calm down and talk to her about how you feel and what you need from her. You also need to listen to her tell you about what she needs from you.
You say it was embarassing for your mom to talk about you PMSing in front of your dad, but you didn%26#039;t have any trouble telling millions of strangers about it here. In other words, drop the drama %26lt;G%26gt;.
On a lighter note, next time your dad offers to spank you, take him up on it, you may like it %26lt;G%26gt;.
Good luck.How can i support myself at 18 when i have no job, no car, etc?LIVE IN THE WILD, FEED OFF BERRIES AND GRASS. LATER YOU CAN GET A CHEETAH AND CALL IT MUTZIFARRI AND YOU CAN MURDER ALL TRESPASSERS WITH A BOW OF SUPREME JUSTICE. WHEN THE TIME TO MOVE ON HAS COME, DESTROY ANYTHING THAT LIVES IN YOUR PATH TO BECOME QUEEN OF THE WILDERNESS. THEN AFTER YOU ARE DONE DESTROYING EVERY LAST ORGANISM, LAY DOWN YOUR LAWS WITH A LOCAL NEIGHBORHOOD AND TELL THEM THAT YOU AND MUTZIFARRI HAVE NO FEAR AND DEMAND AN INCOM OF MONEY TO RULE A SMALL KINGDOM. They will then say %26quot;no%26quot;, but every rejected request will be another meal to Mutzifarri as you torment houses. Pretty soon the Mayor will have to give you money. After you get a large sum, expand to local parks and make neighborhoods pay protection. If they try to move to a new home, kill them. After you become a national threat to society, go to your parents house and make them beg for forgiveness as you slap your dad in the face with a belt and cry %26quot;ITS PMS ITS PMS OH BE QUIET CRY BABY%26quot; After they die (either you do it or force them to) go all Jack the Ripper with their bodies and leave a nice aftermath scene for the police to find. Then, burn your whole town to the ground. Make sure to stand on the tallest building there and scream some of the prayers and spells that you had created. (i.e. MUTZIFARRI IS THE ONE OBEY ME AND MY SUBJECTS%26quot;) after that, you should now have a strong cult following that will slowly expand to several countries and soon you will rule the world.
Or you can get a counselor and settle your problems face to face with your parents.
