Yes, I know right now that I change the tenses a couple of time and for that I'm sorry and I am working on fixing it. Ok so the word count is 1,276 for the first chapter. In your opinion is that long enough. Do I get my point across? And any other comment you would like to make is fine I'm up for critique
A car rumbled to a stop on the bumpy, gravel road. A petite, young girl stepped out. She was garbed in a thin brown T-shirt and old worn light blue jeans with holes on the knees. The wind blew her strawberry blonde hair just enough to cause a slight ripple. A man stepped out on the driver’s side of the small, graying car and slammed the door shut. The girl stared over the cliff out towards to the eerie, green ocean. The mist sprayed her face and made her lips salty. The man looked at her and sighed, how much longer did they have together.
“Maddi, come on, I have something to show you on the beach,” the man walked to the hidden steps and started to descend down the cliff, heading towards their secret little beach. Maddi looked at him and nodded not wanting to disturb the calm silence and repetitive pattern of the waves crashing on the sand. This was her favorite spot. It was peace, it was calm, it felt real.
The way the waves moved in perfect harmony amazed Madelyn Grace more than anything in the world. The way one waves left and almost instantly another one came and took its place. It was almost like it was alive.
Maddi started to descend the eroding steps. She removed her sandals and carried them over to a patch of dying shrubs. She took a deep breath, the damp air filling her lungs. She walked over to her dad in silence, no need to talk when both of them knew exactly what to do from the frequent walks on the beach they always shared. She grabbed his hand as they walked up and down the deserted beach.
The beach was littered with seaweed and kelp, but it didn’t matter. That is how it is supposed to be. It isn’t supposed to be free of any debris like you see in those fake postcards. To most people seaweed was gross and annoying but in reality it is the way beaches are meant to be.
This oaisis was where Madelyn Grace spent almost all her time growing up. Her dad, Samuel, lived here for 25 years and never moved from his first cottage they both loved to call home. It was always the Maddi and Sam show, her mother isn’t dead but she practically is to Maddi. Her name is Susan. She is a firm woman who Maddi always pictured without a heart. How could she just leave and never visit her own daughter? She was probably off in Paris or London, she was a Fashion designer, a rich, stuck up fashion designer. She came to visit only once and only for a few days and Maddi already knew all she needed to about her.
They walked along the beach swinging their hands back and forth. Sam stopped walking and turned his back to the waves and spoke to Maddi.
He sighed and a chill ran down Madelyn’s spin, “Something will happen soon that will change your life…I want you to know that I will always love you no matter what. OK?”
“You know I will always love you, but what is this life changing thing that is supposed to happen?” she ended her last words with a bit of a laugh.
“Maddi, this is serious I’m not joking, please just listen to me.”
Maddi had never seen her dad so serious. The color had drained from his face, his eyes looked sunken in, and his whole demeanor look tired and fragile.
Maddi could do no more than just nod her head. She was bewildered. What was going to happen that was so important that her Dad looked like this? She looked into is blue eyes and saw something in them that she had never seen before. It looked like sadness but he also looked almost…proud? He turned to the ocean and took something out of his pocket. It was in the shape of a starfish but it glowed green, blue, and purple with a red tint. He raised it above his head and Maddi took a step back. He spoke something in a different language and the trinket began to shake violently. Her let go and it shot at the upcoming wave it smashed into it at lightning speed. An earshattering ‘boom’ reached far into Maddi’s body rattling her bones. Then the wave stopped, it looked frozen and ever so slowly it got smaller and smaller until the water was still and the ocean had stopped churning.
Maddi stared at the still water. What in the world just happened? She felt as though she was going to pass out. Her father turned and looked at her and she was astonished to see he had tears in his eyes. Samuel turned back towards the ocean and bellowed, “I am ready for you! Messenger, She is ready for you!”
A huge mist erupted from the calm water. Maddi rushed forward and grabbed her dad’s hand.
“Dad, I don’t like this, this is creeping me out, what are you doing?! What is going on?” Maddi started to cry, small tears ran down her cheeks.
“ Maddi, all you need to know right now is that I love you and everything will be fine. It is not my placeFirst chapter of my novel. Does it need to be longer?Chapter length is a rather arbitrary concept. It's a very personal thing based upon your story and how you want to introduce chapter breaks. I've read books with 7,000-10,000 word chapters and I've read books (like Cat's Cradle by Vonnegut) where there are 137 chapters in a 120 page book.
The one piece of advice I'd give you is if you decide on 1,200 - 2,000 or so words as your chapter length try to keep them roughly that length. It can help with pacing sometimes.
Good luck!First chapter of my novel. Does it need to be longer?If you can fit it all on one page, then yes it needs to be longerFirst chapter of my novel. Does it need to be longer?Pretty good - my first chapter is 875 words long and I think mine is too short. It seems good, though. It keeps me in suspense. Keep writing and good luck!First chapter of my novel. Does it need to be longer?you rush into the story..put back round details into it... its like poof shes at the ocean and all this weird stuff starts to happen...you should start with the stuff that leads up to that part..to me that should me the 3rd chapter....really good though i cant wait till it becomes a book!
