At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
%26quot;Isn't it true,%26quot; he bellowed, %26quot;that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?%26quot;
The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.
%26quot;Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?%26quot; the lawyer repeated
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, %26quot;Sir, please answer the question.%26quot;
%26quot;Oh,%26quot; the startled witness said, %26quot;I thought he was talking to you.%26quot;
Submitted by Kenneth, Shropshire, Englan
****
Jeff Gordon fires his entire pit crew...
This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of the Government's scheme to employ needy Harlem youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment!
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits. However-Gordon got more than he bargained for!
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Jr. for 10 cases of Budweiser, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower!
Submitted by Dewey, Pensacola, Fl.
******
After serious %26amp; cautious consideration...
Your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2010!
It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!
My Wish for You in 2010?
?May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.
?May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of money.
?May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!
?May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires, and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.
?May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words ............
May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!
=======If You really want a good laugh tonight check these out. Can you read?very good jokes, especially the corruption trialIf You really want a good laugh tonight check these out. Can you read?Good stuff and yes Gordon could use some help in his pits but I don't think he needs quite that much lol may God bless and protect youIf You really want a good laugh tonight check these out. Can you read?......If You really want a good laugh tonight check these out. Can you read?Contract of Friendship?
No thanks!
But I love the Jeff Gordon joke!
