My mom is afraid he will hit me one day but the scary thing is I dont know if he would. He has told me things out of rage like this: youre lucky I didnt punch you in your mouth, I should of slapped your mouth, or he will get down in my face and tell me to shut the **** up, or just two days ago he took a whole pan of fried chicken out of my hand and threw it across my ktchen and living room calling me a ****. He said I was worse than his ex wife. This fued came from him going and buying a car while I was at home taking a nap. He came home to get his dad who was here and they left. I was upset and said I thought we wre buying a family car that we picked out, since he has three kids here part time, and he got mad because this was a great deal and couldnt pass it up. Ifeel like Im the one who pushes him to do these things. He gets soooo mad if I ask him a question, is it my tone or does he want to be a bully and do things on his own? He and his dad have their own bank accounts together and phone lines, he is a barber and makes money everyday and I dont even know how much he makes because he either spends it or hides it. In the meantime my paycheck pays for my car payment, my oil changes, tires, gas money, makeup, student loans and any clothes I may want. weve been married for almost two years and since the first month hes wanted a divorce for some reason or another, i woujld cry and was beside myself since i waited so long to get married and was picky. he was everything i dreamed fo for the time we dated and lived together. we had our bank account together and managed our money great. now his dad has come to live with us since this past april and is funding my husbands new barbershop he opened. I just dont know what do. his dad is here helping us out financially but my husband tells me once a week its over, hes tired of me, has even been on the internet trying to meet women and stayed gone for three days the beginning of this month after he told me he wanted a divorce. he wont see a dr about his anger and hostility for some meds, he wont go talk to anyone with me, but sits in the front row at church with me every sunday. im so confused and he is mind %%26amp;*#ing me all the time. now i feel like i dont like him but need to stick around so that some of our bills get caught up from his dads help and then i need to make a move. i feel like hes committed adultry by trying to meet up with girls and going to the club that weekend without his wedding ring. hes rude to my family because his dad comes first. now my family doesnt even like to be around him because hes arrogant and rude. hes told me that blood is thicker than water and his dad comes first before anyone. ive talked to his dad and hes been upset with my husband but doest tell him. what should i do? if i need to get out please give me some advice or steps that work best. if i need to stay and theres no chance of counselling then what?Someone help me to leave my husband.?You should get out of the relationship as soon as you can. It doesn't sound like he respects or loves you at all and staying there could potentially be very dangerous for you. It doesn't sound like he wants help with the relationship and is just doing all he can to get a divorce. If there are any mutual debts you have you should settle them before you leave, with your own personal debts if it's going to take longer than 6 months to settle them i would leave before then. If not I'll pay them off and then leave to prevent against the possibility of unemployment.
In the meantime, talk to his dad or other people in his life that he respects and get them to talk to him and find out what he wants. If he really doesn't want to be in this relationship talk to him in person and sort out what to do, perhaps he can financially support you for a while or you could stay with your parents, relatives or friends.
When leaving a relationship such as this it's important to get legalities sorted before delving into the personal. Try to pay off your student loan by spending less on clothes and other debts you may have. Then if your husband wants a divorce speak to a divorce lawyer and work out how to settle your assets and any future arrangements.
I know it's hard to go through a divorce, but you don't deserve to be treated like that and everyone needs someone who loves them. The hardest thing is taking the first step and after a while you will things easier and not regret leaving him.
If you want steps, here are some:
1) Settle personal debts (not mutual).
2) Find out what your husband wants in the relationship.
3) Organise your belongings and distinguish them from your husbands.
4) Find a place to go where you can stay a while (parents, relatives, friends, women's shelter, etc).
5) Keep the most important things you need in your car.
6) Get a divorce lawyer and work out how you want to settle the assets and future arrangements.
7) Move out.
If you want to stay in the relationship and he's not willing to get any help then chances are you're there's not much you can do to make him change.Someone help me to leave my husband.?Anita
Cajon,California
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U.S.A.
