Saturday I should have been able to cancel our date (because I was so tired from staying up late the night before) with the assurance that you would be understanding and compassionate enough to NOT show your hurt or disappointment. I am constantly doing things I might not necessarily feel up to doing because I don't want to hurt any ones feelings. This is an area that I need to work on with everyone in my life.
You said in your email that our relationship should be strong enough at this point and we should keep the lines of communication open. One....it has only been 3.5 months and we are not married. Two....yes I believe in communication, however, I do believe that you and I are different in regards to timing. You want to talk immediately and I need time to process what has happened, how I feel about it and what I want to say. This enables me to then communicate without saying something stupid in the heat of the moment. I need you to respect that and not pressure me. Pressuring me makes me feel like you are only thinking of yourself and not respecting me.
You also said you think we should be mature enough to accept things better... well, I don't think leaving a bill in my car so that you can see me again is very mature (emulating George Costanza should not be your goal in life as his character is extremely selfish, insecure and immature). Now you are obsessing about how you are going to pay your bill on time and calling me constantly (which is not giving me my space and is extremely annoying).
In regards to accepting things better, that is the big question I keep asking myself. Can I accept things the way they are? I do not expect you to nor have I ever asked you to improve, work on yourself or change your lifestyle for me. If you make changes for me you will eventually resent me. I accept you the way you are.
I have to ask myself why God has brought us together....is it to just be friends and for something more with a future. I think we are moving too fast with the relationship (especially the physical aspect) and maybe that is why you have built the relationship up to be more than it should be at this point (remember only 3.5 months). I guess I need time to figure that out. You are right about this being an extremely stressful time in my life. There are many things I need to work on in my life and I need the space to be able to do so without feeling guilty or pressured into more than I am ready to handle. I think your expectations of the relationship cause me to feel like what I do is never enough. You want to talk more, visit more, move faster than I am ready to move.
I hope you realize that this is just an attempt at communicating my feelings to you as honestly as I can. I want you know that I do care about you and I do not want to hurt you in any way. I just think we are very different in our expectations, how we view things and where we are at in this relationship.
I put your AT%26amp;T bill in the mail as I really don't have time to drop by this week.My 48 yo girlfriend won't talk to me. I'm 50 yo, what is she really saying in her e - mail here?She's saying that she wanted to cancel and wanted you to be understanding. She wants you to think about her.
She's saying you're moving too fast and pressuring her. She likes to move slowly and choose her words carefully. She is not impulsive but thoughtful. Again she mentions more directly that she wants you to think about her and not yourself - %26quot;you are only thinking of yourself and not respecting me%26quot;.
She is saying that bill idea you got from a tv show was stupid and pissed her off. [Personally - if this is true and you did that - BAD IDEA!]
She is saying to be yourself. She doesn't want you to do anything to change for her and she is saying if that is why you are doing it, you're going to hate her for it. [Again I have to agree with what she is saying if it is indeed true]
She is questioning why - on a deep spiritual/soul level. She thinks the both of you are moving too fast physically - which she believes is the reason you're falling for her so fast. She needs time. She needs space. She needs you to understand her point of view and respect her by giving her these things. She wants you to slow down and stop coming on too hard or too much and give her space.
She is tyring to be kind in telling you this. She is trying to let you see the relationship for what it really is instead of the fantasy that it is in your head.
In a nutshell - back off, give her space, stop rushing it or you'll push her away completely.My 48 yo girlfriend won't talk to me. I'm 50 yo, what is she really saying in her e - mail here?If she made the problem any plainer to you she'd be hitting you upside the head with it. She said it right there. You are moving way too fast for her. She's not comfortable with the pace that the two of you are taking the relationship at. You need to back off and give the woman some space.
Also, I agree with her on all the points she has made and I've never even met either of you!My 48 yo girlfriend won't talk to me. I'm 50 yo, what is she really saying in her e - mail here?With all due respect, are you really so clueless as to what she's trying to say? She's tired of your petulant attitude and ploys to see her, and pestering her. You can pay the damn bill online or over the phone.
She feels pressured, is under a lot of stress and is basically saying she wants to end things because the likelihood of your backing off and being happy about it is nil.My 48 yo girlfriend won't talk to me. I'm 50 yo, what is she really saying in her e - mail here?She doesnt want to be with you -she just doesn't know how to say it. She is shifting blame onto you and its quite obvious. So for whatever reason, she doesnt want to be in this type of a relationship with yo.My 48 yo girlfriend won't talk to me. I'm 50 yo, what is she really saying in her e - mail here?She wants to slow down the progression of your friendship/relationship. If you love this woman, you need to slow down and let her think and analyze the situation. She has a thought process she goes through to figure things out... so let her figure them out. Give her time and just a little space and let her think. Tell her that you'll be there for her when/if she needs you. Give her some time. However, that being said don't wait for too long or it will be difficult to move on if you both decide to end your friendship/relationship.
